


Less Cute

by OfficialStarsandGutters



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: I tried to do a cute but then I did a sad instead, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 05:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfficialStarsandGutters/pseuds/OfficialStarsandGutters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's like a less cute version of you, but he'll have to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less Cute

  _he's like a less cute version of you_

He is the same but he is different, and Earl is aware of every little thing that is not quite right. So painfully aware. He is gentle and he is caring, he is funny and smart and witty, but in different ways. Small, subtle differences that to Earl are the most obvious things in the world, that separate him from you so obviously it makes it difficult to pretend. Difficult to believe the lie. Difficult to settle for the second best.

_so now he's next to me_

“You're adorable,” he murmurs, and his voice isn't the same one that sends shivers to Earl's very core, isn't the same that melts him in all the best ways. It doesn't make him tremble when it deepens and it doesn't stir something inside of him. It's too high, too pleasant, too upbeat. “You're beautiful. I love you.”

These are the words Earl yearns for but they're spilling from the wrong mouth, and because of that they are tainted to Earl, make his mouth bitter when he repeats them back in an imitation of emotion. If he notices he says nothing. He wraps Earl in his arms and kisses him sweetly, and everything is beautiful. And everything is broken.

_but I can feel you in my heart_

The ache in Earl's chest never fully subsides. It is softer, more bearable. It is stifled by his sweetness, by the easy affection and the solid, reliable presence. Well, it is nice waking up to a warm body on the other side of the bed, even if it is the wrong body. Even if the longing never fully subsides. At least he is comfort and he is love that does not have to be fought for, that will not reject Earl in favour of something better, shinier, newer.

Earl still dreams of a face that is so similar and yet so different, of skin that feels different against his and of that voice, soft and smooth against his ear. Earl bites back your name when they fuck – he cannot call it making love, he cannot lie to himself – claws his back and whimpers and pretends it is you pressing him into the mattress.

_you're everything he'll never be_

He is lacking so much. He does not have your laugh, nor does he emphasise certain words in the same charming manner that you do. He is missing your passion and your quick temper, the bursts of anger that bubble and overflow only to slink back beneath the surface. He is calm and controlled, he is smooth and careful, but Earl wants impulse. He wants your fickle nature and the uncertainty of never knowing what is coming next. You are the adventure Earl wants, the tightrope at a dizzying height. He is the safety net Earl has fallen into, and he cannot get out.

He is secure and protected, but he is not satisfied. He never will be.

_all this envy's killing me_

And if the pining wasn't enough, if it didn't already burn to the core, if the sting of unrequited love were not torture enough, you had to go and find someone, didn't you? Pretty, shiny toy from the outside world. And sure, his hair is beautiful and perfect, his jaw strong and his teeth straight. Sure, he's a hero and he's a marvel, and oh, how we'd be lost without him, but Earl watches and Earl sees. Earl sees the way he dodges your calls and makes excuses and avoids you in the street. Earl watches and Earl knows that he cannot love you in the same way.

But then it happens and you are lost to him, just as Earl is lost to his own him, and it's wrong. He can feel it, can sense it, can taste it on the tears that come – less frequently now, but just as bitter – that it's all so wrong and it should be you he is tasting instead. We could have been something, is what Earl said, but what he meant was we are something, we are something special and you are denying it.

“Are you coming to bed?” he says, and Earl blinks back the tears. He steps away from the window and moves across the room. As he walks, he clicks on the radio. Earl falls into bed with the sound of your voice, even as he draws him to his chest.

_but he'll have to do_

**Author's Note:**

> Song lyrics and title from "Less Cute" by Say Anything.


End file.
